Saturday, February 1, 2014

From darkness to light

As I sit here today watching another snow storm, all I can think is how beautiful this day is. The snow is fresh again, no more muddy snow. I think about what I would have thought 10 days ago and realize how bad I was. You see, over the last 2 years I struggled with depression. I did not know this, but came to a realization about 2 weeks ago that something needed to happen to fix my brokenness. I have had this anxiety and sad look on life. I couldn't wait for bedtime, everything that was asked of me was a chore, a burden.
A little personal, but I had the Mirena for the last 3 years and never really looked at side effects. I got this removed about 10 days ago, and my life has changed. I feel like a veil has been removed from my eyes. Everything is a little brighter, everything is a little funnier, and I am enjoying my children so much. This is the part that makes me so happy. At the same time it saddens me that for the last 2 years I was not the mom I have always wanted to be because of a choice I made.  I am trying to let that part go and just know that I can now move forward being the mom I always wanted to be. I have 2 children who have put up with a crabby mom for the last 2 years (at least) and I am ready to move forward and give them the time, patience, encouragement, and love that they deserve. I need prayers to break the habits that were formed in the last 2 years. For love and patience to be my driving force.

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